Halloween

A friend of mine asked me today about Halloween…as I'm a big fan….and I began to share how this year's was a bit of a disappointment….how it started with a knock down drag out with my boy to put his stinking Where's Waldo shirt on….

(You may remember previous posts regarding our troubles with season changes and thus wardrobe adjustments…with how mild this Fall has been…he hasn't fully committed to long sleeves - except on weekends? - so…needless to say…Rube sat on him whilst I crammed on the shirt!)

Next, his aide didn't show up for school on time…so getting to school was a big fiasco….and nobody in the office noticed as they were busy taking selfless in their group costume - The Flinstones!
(Apparently he didn't hear the alarm?  Okay…crap happens…but today of all days? Ugh!)

Then…the same aide forgot to take pictures….withheld his lunch and coked him up on almost an entire pint of Almond Ice Cream I brought so that he could participate in the class party….

So ..most of my day was then spent alone…running errands..until time to pick kids up…run to therapy…race over and get sis…back to therapy for pick up ….you get the drift….

So I was explaining all this and I realized…..wait a minute….it wasn't all that bad….because then we went trick or treating!

Yes it was raining….and hardly anyone was home in our neighborhood….but my sweet boy kept up with our group of neighbor kids….in fact..he was out in front most of the time!

Most houses we hit - he was first to the door….knocking or ringing the bell…he always said "Trick or Treat!' and "Thank you - Happy Halloween!"

I realized I was calling after him, "Slow down!  Wait for the littles!" - just like the other moms in our group were calling after their kids…

I was so proud.  It was just so….so….TYPICAL!

So, even tho we had a very bumpy start….and my day wasn't what I had hoped for…it was all worth it to see my sweet boy running with the pack.

These moments are few and far between…so I'm going to try and soak it in….and rememberer what's important.….Halloween only comes once a year….and my sweet boy nailed it!

A three hour tour!

August 2014

Went to the lake to take a boat out for a test drive yesterday….despite my dream that the seller was a serial killer participating in the mass societal plot to deprive my children of their parents and perpetuating their need for continuous therapy….I don't know, it was a dream people!

Any-who….we thought, "We're meeting at 9:30…we'll take it for a quick spin around the bay…maybe put the sails up for a bit and get a feel for how she sails…..be back by maybe 11….home to feed the kids lunch."

Yeahhhh….totally forgetting this guy is an avid sailer ...selling both of his freshwater boats and moving to the West side…..any day with a bit of wind, in his opinion,  is a good day for a sail!

We put out around 9:45 and don't see that dock again until 2:00!

No water….no food…..thank goodness I'm a sun screen freak as it was pushing 100 degrees! (However,….I forgot the parts I ALWAYS forget in the boat….tops of the knees/thighs! So we did get a funny sunburn….you might say we're the 'bees knees!')

 The seller was awesome….loads of fun to sail with…."What do you call two sailboats on the water?……A race!" Very fun morning/afternoon….however,….not my best plan!

We had been up late drinking wine with the babysitters the night before….Thanks Grandma and Papa for offering to sit and saving our day!….and had barely managed a cup of coffee and piece of toast before we left!

Needless to say, we spent the rest of the afternoon and evening trying to hydrate and recover……..now the fun part's over….let the games begin!

My $100 tank top

A couple years ago my awesome neighbor got me in to Triathlons.

Keep your pants on! Not the big long Ironman deal….Sprints!

 She had been participating in a local Sprint Tri for a couple years as a way to keep motivated for working out/keeping in shape.  I had recently joined her and another neighbor working out at the absolute crack of butt in the morning….and she felt, correctly, that I would be interested.

I only had five weeks to train, so I agreed that finishing would be a good thing!

Incidentally, when I told Rube I wanted to sign up, he freaked out! Claiming I would die…have the big one right in the middle of the race! Thanks for the support goof ball! (He turned out to be my biggest fan/supporter…his initial reaction was so funny though!) 

We show up for my first race…nervous as all get out…a bit shy…and awed by all of the powerful women there strutting around in all their glory. I'm not kidding! These gals got it goin' on! They've got matching gear and fancy race bikes…tricks they're willing to share with newbies…!

I make it down to the beach and find myself alone amongst them as my neighbor is younger than I and gets to start earlier…. I find myself getting more and more excited to get started…when just 3 minutes before I was having trouble keeping my food down and my lower half was in full blast alert/eject the core mode!

When I got to the water…I can't explain it….but I turned into instant beast mode! I forgot how competitive I am!
We need to remember, I'm the youngest of three…and the older two? Boys!

I tore that race up and had so much fun doing it too!
I've participated in two other races since…have added a tri suit, number belt, a racing bike and "race" shoes with special "race laces" to my repertoire. 

This fairly lengthy explanation brings me to present…and my $100 tank top.

These races can be tricky to get in to…you have to sign up a year in advance, lay down the big bucks and hope no vacations or illness prevent you from showing up!

I signed up for a local race that I did for the first time last year….called The Valley Girl. Sadly, I've been fighting a neck/shoulder injury for this entire year plus, so not only haven't been 'training'…but working out in general has been hit and miss!

Rube and my snarky 9 year old had convinced me to just go and see how I do…so I was all set….

Then, the 4th of July weekend…we spent it on our boat, as we like to do when we have it in the water, and all was well until…. Sunday pack up.

I attempted to pull the heavily laden cooler out of the back berth in a pull/twist motion and jacked up my back like no one's business.

I would be lying if I didn't admit to a sense of relief…I couldn't possibly race now! I had been struggling with guilt all week, alternating with frustration as the competitive crazy in me kept welling up…..

Instead of racing, Rube and I made plans to go out on a sailboat we are considering buying….in order to do this, we needed a sitter for the kids as we don't generally introduce complete strangers to the crazy that is our family right off the bat…or at least not in such close quarters!

Insert the in-laws, bless their hearts! They came down the day before to stay the night as we were needing to leave for the lake pretty early.

My Mom-in-law came with me for packet pick up as I figured I would at least get the shirt and water bottle…right?  I mean….I paid for it!

The race staff were all very kind and encouraging…claiming safety over everything…and cheerfully chiming, "We'll see you back next year!"

Which just made me feel worse for my sense of relief….ah well.. After packet pick up, we went grocery shopping…and made a Costco run.... When we got home and were unloading groceries…my husband comes out to help and finds me standing in the garage snickering as I gaze into the back of my mini van….
Thinking I've finally snapped….he comes over to see what I'm looking at…bracing for something bad…or worse, nothing at all!

I'm looking at a scene that I feel is fairly indicative of the year I've had….

There, on one of the back seats, was my new $100 race shirt and packet….and sitting squarely upon it?

A giant Apple Pie that I had just purchased at Costco!

Early risers….?

Ah yes…..Tuesday. 

Also known as the day we have to force not one but both of our tweens to get ready before the early hour of 8AM in order to make it to their various places on time.

After 20 minutes of cajoling they both finally show up in the kitchen wiping the sleep outa their eyes requesting breakfast….

"Oh sure! What'll be? We've got 10 minutes…. Fresh squeezed orange juice? Silver dollar pancakes with hash browns and bacon?!"

Pour yourself some Lucky Charms and make it snappy friends!

Once we finally get them herded out the door and towards the car - think cats here! - my sweet husband turns to me and says, "I envy you this next hour!"
(I don't have to be at work until 9:00)

I smile sweetly and say…."I was up an hour before you making lunches and you didn't envy me then!"

I believe that's wife for the win!

Dilated eyes blow!

Okay…..so I had to go to the eye doctor today for my annual soaking-or-we-won't-let-you-have-more-contacts appointment…..cuz I like my contacts…they help me move amongst the seeing almost undetected!
Any-who….dork girl forgot they would insist on dilating my eyes…and left the house sans shower (again) laboring under the delusion that I was going to sneak a workout in today….
…...find myself sitting in a waiting room, unwashed, blind, numb eyelids leaking yellow goo…vacillating between serial trying on of glasses and hovering over my phone in a vain attempt to see to text…..
……..my husband keeps shooting mocking texts at me cracking me up..literally out loud….
…...for a while I stand up every time someone with a red or pink shirt comes near me and start to follow thinking it's my doc and this fresh hell is over…..

I followed two old ladies and one guy into the bathroom before I got wise and quit going with shirt color!

When my doc finally did come to get me…..I had to ask her a couple security questions before I would get up.

Thinking by the looks I got that I should look into seeing her at the other office….then again…that might of just been the guy I followed into the bathroom

A little over protective….me?

So I thought I was beyond embarrassment….after 10 years…it takes a lot to shake me…..and yet again…my boy has taken me to school! Sigh.

Dropping my sweet girl off at a friend's house for a slumber party….new friend…have never been to her home nor met her parents….I'm apparently odd as I HATE when she goes over night somewhere….I still miss her snarky little pants!

Anyway…so I'm a bit anxious and trying really hard to be a big girl about this as a couple of her friends are going as well…and they have what appears to be responsible, well meaning parents…and they wouldn't go if this was a bad thing…right?

My husband is working on getting the boat in the water this weekend….so he's off on an errand to West Marine…and didn't make it back in time to keep our little man during the drop off/interrogation. So I slapped on my big girl panties, loaded up the kids and headed up the hill to Northwood.

We get there…and as soon as the door opens…my daughter disappears….no hug, ….no kiss….not even a good bye thrown over a shoulder…just gone.

I suddenly find myself standing in an immaculate and very expensively furnished home with an awesome view desperately trying to discover all of the pertinent details - criminal history, parental theory - under the guise of small talk….all the while trying to keep my son under control.

He is not impressed by the view, and could care less about the very expensive glassware that's set all over the place in an apparent attempt at replicating a Mission Impossible obstacle course….no….he's mesmerized by the gigantic television. I mean…like Uncle Billy size big!

He's a moth to a flame….I clothes lined him not once….not twice…but three times!

Who keeps that size of television down within reach? Not an autie parent!

Bless her heart…she was super sweet and endured the Spanish Inquisition - albeit abbreviated - as I held my son in a full Nelson on her living room rug.

Pretty sure I didn't get enough information to run a full background check……..so here's hoping for the best!

World autism day….

On the way to school one morning….my daughter and I are talking about World Autism Awareness Day and why we wear blue and whatnot….

 I quoted her the numbers…1 in 68 and 1 in 42 boys….she's still unimpressed…finally I say…

"Do you realize that there are like 60,000 boys with autism- that were born in 2002 alone -roaming this world?"

She replies…"So?"..

"Well….that's a HUGE chunk out of what will be your dating pool…those boys are 2 to 3 years older than you…the sweet spot…."

She looks at me with eyes bugging and says…"Shit just got real!- we gotta do something!"

Ah yes….my sweet girl….now you get it….(and swear appropriately ….super!)

Icy hot?

In other news….I started seeing this new Chiropractor recently….who rocks -

This morning….he's working with the usual suspects…hips, neck and shoulders…..he applies this gel stuff….kind of an icy hot deal? Anyway….it was okay….no big deal…calmed down by the time I left….he tells me to be careful about getting too warm that it could re-activate the gel and get really uncomfortable. (You know where this is going right?)

So…I go about my morning running errands and whatnot….then at noon, I rush out to Pure Barre for a class. (I started this last week - you've got to try it, really!)
Things are fine as we warm up and start doing our thing….and I remember the gel. No warmth or anything…so I'm thinking this aint no thang!

Then we move to the mats.

Once pressed up against a polyurethane -or whatever- mat while sweating out an ab workout…..suddenly my lower back and shoulders are burning up! (Think Hunger Games people!)

The gel is coming off somehow and trickling down between my shoulder blades along with my excessive sweating due to the workout and my back suddenly catching fire!

I'm trying to suck it up and just get through to the end without crying like a little girl while hopping around flapping my hands like an idiot…..

Finally it's over and done - I bolt to the lobby and just about tear my purse in half trying to find a stray, old diaper wipe to try and get what's left of the gel off of me….

I have never been so happy to see a Kirkman flushable wipe in all my life!

Making new friends at the gym...

A quick note to the new gal in the front row of Spin class today:

First: Kudos for coming to the gym and trying a new class!
Being fairly new to Spin myself, I understand the dark, glass box full of fans and sweating people can be sort of intimidating….

Now...for a few notes:

First: A hearty thank you from myself and the guys in the back row for wearing opaque running pants and a hot pink thong with "Juicy" written on the back in sequins!
We all enjoyed watching it meander it's way into dark places where fabric should never go!
(And yes, it does draw more attention to it every time you casually sneak your hands back there and try to adjust!)

Second: I'm not meaning to judge or in any way slander your possible profession, however....here's a tip - if you can somehow contrive to not throw your knees out so wide...you might not look like you're either dry humping the bike...or performing a pole dance. Just sayin'!

Next, let's talk about the hair.
You have lovely hair and we're all very impressed by it...however, Spin class is just not the place to be taking it down and putting it back up over and over and over. If you need a break...sit up and slow down like everyone else!

Last.....I know I sound judgmental here, but I have to mention….
Spin class is also NOT the place for taking Selfies and posting to Facebook!
I'm a big fan myself...however, the fact that you almost did a header and that now that bike owes you a drink...? Well...prolly good indicators that wasn't such a swell idea!

DO come back, I haven't had so much fun in Spin since I was the newbie!

What the heck?

We are dealing with the strangest behaviors lately!

With the end of the relative comfort of Elementary school and the impending doom of Middle…everything in my boy's life has been turned on end! Not only is ESY/Summer School at the Middle school…which is unfamiliar…and everyone keeps telling him ..."This is your school now!" Like this is a good thing? But also his behavioral therapist decided to shake everything up this summer and turn two days a week into "Social Group" time instead of our tried and true favorite…one on one! Ugh. 

Poor kid is reeling! And…in a vain attempt to set things right…is constantly demanding we put things back to a manner in which makes sense to him. In other words, he's trying to re-boot our lives to 2012! 

He's demanding our old car….the old DVD player we had in said car…he's insisting we move the furniture back to the way it was….moving my computer and the television….he even suggested we paint…which, quite frankly, I'm on board with as we haven't since we moved in 9 years ago! So that one doesn't really figure in huh? I'm still working on the paint connection!

 Any-who….I feel so bad for him…and am trying to help as best I can. Rube drew the line at buying another car…but we figured a portable DVD player wouldn't be bad….and the cover for the play set he was asking to be replaced…it was looking pretty sad without one….

I'm not moving my furniture though….no matter how many times he asks!